the annual survey

i really cant believe its time for this again...its always fun to look back on the year...

1. what did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? graduated from college...went to milwaukee...sang a song on my guitar infront of a lot of people
2. did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? umm i dont make new years resolutions
3. did anyone close to you give birth? hmm not really

4. did anyone close to you die? yes, both of my grandmothers, im really thankful that God blessed them with long lives and that they were able to be cared for by family though.

5. what countries did you visit? the united states of america
6. what would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? less fear, more faith to completley let God write my story and give Him control of my life, patience, time to love people better, to live a life that is less self centered and more focused on loving others
7. what date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory? september 27th....the man that God wrote into my life asked me to marry him
8. what was your biggest achievement of the year? getting into grad school, using my political views to be radical for Jesus
9. what was your biggest failure? being beat down by the enemy through my fears and letting that stop me from hopeing in God at times.
10. did you suffer illness or injury? i think i got a minor cold but other than that not really
11. what was the best thing you bought? my new guitar that my best friend paid for half of....ira rocks!
12. whose behavior merited celebration? the faithful relationships that God has blessed me with.

13. whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? maybe people in the political spectrum...the greed that we are surrounded by
14. where did most of your money go? gas, food, God....
15. what did you get really, really, really excited about? being able to stay at ISU for grad school and umm getting married!!! but thats for next year!
16. what song will always remind you of 2007? ok so for this question, it always goes in order of the songs that I purchased on itunes because i listen to those a lot, and it follows the progression of the year, and i left out alot of songs too: "wouldnt it be nice" by the beach boys, "love and some verses" by iron and wine, "hallelujia" by jeff buckly, "my sweet lord" by george harrison, "lets dance" by m. ward, and the entire viva la vida album by coldplay

17. compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? about the same, being sad can be beautiful
ii. thinner or fatter? hopefully the same
iii. richer or poorer? poorer
18. what do you wish you'd done more of? painted, read, journaled,
19. what do you wish you'd done less of? swearing (only a few people get to experience that!), wasted time on the internet, worried.
20. how will you be spending Christmas? christmas eve at my uncles place, and christmas day at my brothers

21. did you fall in love? i fell in love with God's persistence and His consistency, and I fell in love with my Dan
24. what was your favourite TV program? oh most definitely The Office!

25. do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? nope
26. what was the best book you read? "The Irresistible Revolution" and "Jesus for President" by Shane Claibourne, and this other book that I just cant think of the name of but it was all about the politics of Jesus and it was really great!

27. what was your greatest musical discovery? Iron and Wine, Jeff Buckly, and Sufjan Stevens
28. what did you want and get? the chance to be partnered up with a pretty great guy

29. what did you want and not get? God is good and He provides and holds back in ways I will never understand
30. what was your favourite film of this year? Get Smart...so funny!
31. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i had a lovely dinner with my family and friends, then hung out in my basement with some really wonderful people and ate cake.. my 22nd

32. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not letting fear hold me back
33. how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? jeans and a shirt...the same as always!
34. what kept you sane? God, my relationships
35. which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? really didnt care too much

36. what political issue stirred you the most? the economic crisis
37. who did you miss? having my suburban friends around when im in normal

38. who was the best new person you met? i met some pretty great friends this year!

39. tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008: loving people is the best way to life out Christ's call in your life

40. quote a song lyric that sums up your year: " All summer we just hurried
so come over, just be patient, and don't worry" by Coldplay

Currently Listening Transfiguration of Vincent By M. Ward Let's Dance see related

so lets dance

suddenly its summer again...

heres where God has been moving my heart lately...

i suppose God has made this time very full for me. full of new experiences and realizations and desires and dreams. His call has been tugging deeply at my heart, inviting me to climb up and out and onto to new hights. and its scarey. there are so many beautiful things in life that lay outside of my control and its giving up and just moving with His current that is washing me clean and making me vulnerable. maybe its because God truely desires for me to have ultimate freedom in Him to face the risks that make life worth living as an incredibly wild adventure with Him.

i know that now i want to love people as God has loved me, no matter how imperfect that is going to look. i will never be able to love like God loves because His love is perfect and complete. but i want to. God is love and what an incredible teacher we have in Christ to show us how to sway together in this beautiful and lovely and dangerous dance that He has made us for moving so sweetly in.

i love the desires and hopes that God has put in me, its the fear of how they will be met that strikes the wrong chord in my heart sometimes...but all i know is that i have Him to follow and thats much better than what the world has to offer.

here's a short update on life

- im coming home this summer...and even though everything is unknown, im excited for it.

- ill be at ISU for grad school in the fall...it was so wonderful to have God lead me back here.

- ps: we sang if i had a million dollars.

- i love playing the guitar. a lot.

- i graduated last week :-O

- my dog and i have totes been bff all week.

- i cant believe the last time i wrote on here was christmas eve.

- mario kart wii is amazing.

the end.

Currently Listening Sing-A-Longs & Lullabies for the Film Curious George (Jack Johnson) By Jack Johnson see related

i wanna turn the whole thing upside down, i want to find the things they say just cant be found..

i went to willow creek's christmas service and let me tell you it was a celebration. they used every resource possible to make it a beautiful spectacle. sometimes i think its not good that churches spend all that money to dazzle our eyes when they could be using it to serve other people or provide for them, but on saturday i thought it was quite special. they were celebrating the birth of our savior and they did it in a fashion that really captivated the heart of the audience. i kinda relished in the fact that they literally danced for joy over the birth of our savior and were not silent or quiet or humble about it...because it is a big deal!

i feel like all too often i restrain myself because i dont want to offend or look wierd but the song inside of me wells to such a great degree that is beautiful to be undignified...i hope i have more opportunities to let that glorious song escape from me...

my dog is snoring on the floor right now and its really cute.

Gods been working on me a lot lately about brokenness. even though it is painful and bitter at times...it can also be so beautifully sweet. i was talking with a friend the other night about about feeling like you are in the dark and it was really powerful for her to talk about how even though God seems so distant and far away she still knows that she loves him so passionately it hurts and she cant explain it. that felt so true for my life too...even though i wonder why He is working in my life in such a hard way and i feel like i am in the shadows, its undeniable that He loves me and that i love Him and its unexplainable how that can make such a difference but it does. i love how mysterious the ways of God are.

ok so my dog just rolled over on her back and is sleeping with her legs up in the air.

are you ready for it?! the random update in no particular order...

- i was watching the news last night with my mom and a van LITrally drove into the news studio during the broadcast.

- i just got season one of The Office and im looking forward to more highly entertaining viewing experiences.

- my grad school applications are due soon. (poop!!!)

- i love where God has my life...

- i had real fondu for the first time ever the other night and it was fun, the company was lovely, and im glad i didnt food poison myself (seriously)

- i have watched a lot of Magnum PI episodes with my p's this break and its been good. i wish i was in hawaii right now, well only because its warm.

- tuesdays are better than ever, and other days of the week are pretty great too...

i hope you all are blessed with a beautiful christmas...sometimes i wish there were more words to describe how beautiful our God is.

Its time for this again?!

i suppose i have kind of filled out the same survey the past two years

1. what did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? go on a road trip, go into a bar, drive in a big city
2. did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? umm i dont make new years resolutions
3. did anyone close to you give birth? yeah...there were lots of babies this year!

4. did anyone close to you die? thankfully no

5. what countries did you visit? the united states of america
6. what would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? less fear, more faith to completley let God write my story and give Him control of my life, patience, time to love people better.
7. what date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory? september 3rd...i was able to learn and share some pretty wonderful things that day. and June 20th, i embarked on a great vacation that day!
8. what was your biggest achievement of the year? knowing that God is bigger and more powerful than my fears. even when the shadows crept upon me i turned to Him and He awakened me in such a powerful way.
9. what was your biggest failure? not living up to the roles in the relationships that God has put into my life, letting fear stop me from doing things, giving too much worth to superficial things.
10. did you suffer illness or injury? i suffered from a death virus in february, and couldnt taste anything, or talk for a while. i felt like i was going to cough up a lung at certain points. but im all better now
11. what was the best thing you bought? the space heater in my room.
12. whose behavior merited celebration? the faithful relationships that God has blessed me with.

13. whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? those unspoken hurts.
14. where did most of your money go? gas, food, vacation, God, books
15. what did you get really, really, really excited about? going to visit people in colorado, letting God write a lovely story...
16. what song will always remind you of 2007? ok so for this question, it always goes in order of the songs that I purchased on itunes because i listen to those a lot, and it follows the progression of the year, and i left out alot of songs too: "Still Fighting" By: Ben Folds, "Sleepy Jean" By: The Monkees, "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" By: Israel K., "Wake up Little Susie"- By The Everly Brothers, "Nothing left to loose"- By: Matt Kearney, "A Message" By: Coldplay, "My Cherie Amor"- By Stevie Wonder

17. compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? about the same, being sad can be beautiful
ii. thinner or fatter? hopefully the same
iii. richer or poorer? poorer
18. what do you wish you'd done more of? painted, read, journaled,
19. what do you wish you'd done less of? swearing (only a few people get to experience that!), wasted time on the internet, worried.
20. how will you be spending Christmas? christmas eve at my uncles place, and christmas day at my brothers

21. did you fall in love? i fell in love with God's story and the beautiful relationships He has woven into my life,
24. what was your favourite TV program? i honestly really didnt watch tv hardly at all this year, except for a a streak of watching the entire season 3 of the office during thanksgiving break. that show is HAllarious.
25. do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? nope
26. what was the best book you read? i really liked "Jesus of Suburbia", "The Five Love Languages", and "When God Writes Your Love Story"

27. what was your greatest musical discovery? Mat Kearney
28. what did you want and get? for God to answer a deep prayer and He did!

29. what did you want and not get? i was pretty blessed this year
30. what was your favourite film of this year? the bourne ultimatum
31. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i had a lovely dinner with my family, and then went to a few bars to celebrate my 21st...and then i realized that i really dont like bars.

32. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not letting fear hold me back
33. how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? jeans and a shirt...the same as always!
34. what kept you sane? God, my relationships
35. which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? ha, harrison ford, especially after halloween!

36. what political issue stirred you the most? i should still probably follow politics more
37. who did you miss? having my mamma mack around

38. who was the best new person you met? i met a lot of pretty cool people this year and i like them all

39. tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007: God wants to embrace my brokenness and my fears and bring healing and learning to me through it all.

40. quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "Something's in the air tonight, the sky's alive with a burning light, come mark my words somethings bound to break. And I found myself in a bitter fight, and I held your hand through the darkest night, don't know where you coming from, but your coming soon."

Currently Listening Songs in the Key of Life By Stevie Wonder My Cherie Amor see related

Your the only One my heart beats for...

its been forever and a day since i wrote on this....

these past however many months have been some of the most beautiful and sweet and challenging and humbling days.

ive realized how much i desire for my creator to write the story of my life, ive thought about it a lot before, but ive never felt it to be as satisfying or freeing as it is now. i suppose that i am now reading what God wrote long ago and its incredible. its like He is writing over everything that may have happened in the past and in the process drawing me up and into Him.

i suppose im also learning the deep perseverence of God's love. we can be so hard to Him and eachother, but He is so faithful in keeping with us and boldly loving us when we don't want to have anything to do with Him. oh how i long to be able to love like that. i am reading the five love languages now, and the author talks about how above all else true love is a choice. its not an emotion, for those are feelting, but its a choice to work hard at proving and showing each other that we love them. God chooses to love us, and He works so hard at proving it to us, how beautiful it can be when we follow God's example to care for the people in our lives like that. i so desire to truely know that i have freedom to love like that.

im seeing so much too how much the enemy tries to deflate us when life feel so good. but its also a choice to believe those lies as well. the journey is through dark territory sometimes, but its so sweetly beautiful to find that shaft of light when it permeates the dark and brings hope.

anyways this entry feels kinda lofty...but i hope that everyones previous few months have shown a lot too... 

but anyways here is some random news about the past few months in my life in no particular order:

- i now am the proud co parent of a hampster named George Jorge Mack

- i smell like bonfire

- i sleep in a cave...but seriously its great.

- im trying to learn how to play the piano, but i never practice so surprisingly im not learning much.

- i went to st. louis for the first time ever, and it was pretty cool.

- i feel like God has made this Fall especially beautiful...the trees look absolutely amazing right now

- i got my bike stolen. buuutttt....that can be expected when one leaves it unlocked sitting infront of the house all the time.

- i like tuesdays.

i hope you all are doing well!